I think I’m finally okay with being alone again.
I realized this on Valentine’s Day, probably the cheesiest time to hit this kind of epiphany, but I swear, it was that day. I was suppose to have a date on February 15th, but they bailed on me. Instead, in a surprising turn of events, I ended up having dinner with a VP from my company. We discussed industry trends, company life, and my career aspirations over a great Mediterranean meal.
The evening turned out to be a lot better than I had originally planned and I thought about this.
“Would I have been able to take such a spontaneous opportunity if I had a commitment to a partner?”
We went our separate ways and I stood waiting for my late train at the subway station. I have not seen so much innocent PDA ranging from putting one’s arm protectively around the other’s shoulder, or giving loving pecks on the lips and forehead. These actions made me smile. I didn’t know I was until I caught it myself.
I didn’t see these actions with envy. I was genuinely happy for them. There was no feeling of needing someone myself to join the festivities. I’m standing just fine on my own and doing things on my time. That is the kind of freedom I had from being single for so long. You don’t have to think about an extension of yourself. Sounds a bit selfish, but being single means I can make decisions without accounting for another’s feelings or opinions – have 100% focus on my own development.
At this point of my life, that’s exactly what I need and want.